late as it may be, i say: CONGRATS DENNIS

in your words, you're a step closer to your wrx dream. to say the least, i'll be bitter if you're suddenly 90k ahead of us on the money ladder. nonetheless, i'm truly happy for a friend. you deserve it. had you not sent us all back home on that day (like you always do, recently), you probably wouldn't have gotten past the first stage, so i suppose good karma does exist. all the best if you get through the balloting, with your tenacity and vigor, you have the edge. bring your super-glue along, just in case.

knowing what you want. i do know what i want, but i don't know all my wants, so maybe in a sense, i don't know what i want. life will be simpler if there aren't so many things to want, and i love things simple.

i found out that a lot of people around me actually know a 3rd language (mostly japanese). that makes me want to know 4. anyway, japanese-learning is on track, and hopefully i'll be sufficiently proficient with the language to make coherent conversations in a short year's time. my dad's friend and business partner once told me that japanese wouldn't be as useful as french (oops, was it french?) in the business world, but i decided to go against his advice because i'd love to know japanese. i'll take french (if it's indeed french, will have to ask dad) next. then again, i procrastinate, and lazy is my middle name.

learning's never supposed to stop, the best is yet to be, eh? i'd love to be knowledgeable. my dad will never know how impressed i am by how he seems to know everything, because my egotistical nature does not allow me to tell him so. i guess reading heaps and watching loads of news/national geographic/discovery helps. weird though, my mind does not retain these kind of data, they just come and go... i'm running low on memory. emanuel, you too. why do you know so much! boy am i envious.

i'm being random here, but boredom is a catalyst to mindless rambling.

10 months isn't really a long time; university is coming! i'm envisioning how my life will be like then. i'm definitely not going to be a bookworm, nor am i going to let most of my time be taken by a CCA or something (i'll talk about why in another entry maybe). perhaps i'll start a little on the adult thing, like shares, stocks and stuff. my dad's still waiting for me to start a portfolio and do some mock investment before pumping cash into his capable son. looking back, i think i'm good at talking big, but when it comes to doing... hrm, it never came to doing. still, my words inspire people! jj, even though you said it'll probably last a day only, i still inspired you to study/work hard and make big bucks in future. i took that as a compliment.

i feel like swimming, rollerblading, iceskating, suntanning, gluttonizing, sleeping, shopping (there's the money factor though), or just hanging out in general. anything beats stoning at home, because stoning means i'll eventually get nudged into playing dota, and a game can stretch for an hour or two. that's like 1/24 (an average) of the day, spent on a totally unproductive activity. my parents say i'm wasting my time, i agree, and do nothing about it.

hmm... a friend just called me a slacker, because i always appear like i have nothing to do. okay, for most part, that is true. but when i do have work (there are times, believe me!), i tend to finish things fast, and then i'm back to slacking. reminds me of the time i worked at woodgrove primary school. mdm aminah (wow, i remember her name!) told us not to work too fast, or we'll seem like we've got nothing to do, and the principal wouldn't like that. ah, all the pretense we had to put up made the work more tiring than it should be. but twas fun times, working with you 4 ladies. we were like the hottest teachers in school, and the kids were all saying i shouldn't have 4 girlfriends. -laughs- i can't forget the time joyce and i were at the science lab cutting some stuff while listening to her mp3 player, and she ended up mutilating her earphone.

which made me think of something else. dennis, the world has to know how absolutely gay you were when you joined us at the funfair. i practically had to beg and drag you onto that ride, which wasn't scary at all! i bet the girls were laughing their ass off. (mm, rb!)

hmm, i don't think i've ever posted an entry like this before, but hey, it actually feels good to type whatever goes on in my mind at this very moment. and at this very moment, my mind's a blank. tata.

happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.

people just have to understand this to experience happiness, it's that simple. have you noticed that you have greater expectations when you have lots and want more, than when you have little and want some. and when things fail to meet your expectations, you don't feel good. maybe it's just me. anyway, perhaps it is really a blessing if we don't already have too much.

but i'm greedy, i want everything till i can't possibly have anything more, if that's even possible. then i'll no longer have any expectations, and i'll be happy. oops, lapsed into dreamworld again, pardon me.

-commits the following (unicode) to memory-

あ　　　い　　　う　　　え　　　お

か　　　き　　　く　　　け　　　こ

さ　　　し　　　す　　　せ　　　そ

た　　　ち　　　つ　　　て　　　と

な　　　に　　　ぬ　　　ね　　　の

は　　　ひ　　　ふ　　　へ　　　ほ

ま　　　み　　　む　　　め　　　も

や　　　　　　　ゆ　　　　　　　よ

ら　　　り　　　る　　　れ　　　ろ

わ　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　を

ん

not too difficult, raar!

"both mother n baby feel sian... doing prelim invigilation... yawn... nice weather to zzzz."

and when i told her not to fall asleep while invigilating...

"ha ha ha... dun worry.. S31 tackling further maths paper furiously... no time to lose, they wont know whether i slack or not."

does that look like it came from a junior college teacher? no way! it all started when, at theng's reminder, i sms'ed her birthday greetings. good to know she has yet to forget this 'ever so slim n almost never do tutorial student in my (her) class'. sorry mdm chen, i've returned most if not all of my physics knowledge to you, so i can't help you with your marking of papers. i'll just end up grading everyone A or F, the 2 extremes!

hmm, i remember how mdm chen will always get one of us (my clique) to provide solutions to tutorials on the board, because she knows some of us probably did not do our work. i suppose it is her intention to at least make us try the questions on the spot, since we did not have the discipline to do so at home.

there you go, an entry dedicated to one of the best teachers i ever had! thanks mdm chen, i owe the A to you.

interesting to note that beneath all the guises we assume, all the facades put up, be it for work or anything else, we are essentially and fundamentally human. there's always a time for laziness.

thinking seems to be triggered whenever i idle. if i don't want to think, i have to either sleep, or find myself something to do, like write a blog entry that serves no purpose. and trust me, many times, i don't want to think. well anyway, i had a weird dream yesterday night, it's not often i remember my dreams, so maybe i'll make this half a dream blog!

it's set in NUS, which seems to be swarmed by zombies, intent on grabbing me for one purpose or another. but guess what... i can fly! so there's me, zooming around in mid-air, avoiding all outstretched arms trying to catch hold of me. that's all i remember, you can laugh now.

the night before, i was just telling weiyang how i'm seriously considering hopping over to NUS. then the dream. wonder if any of the zombies managed to grab me, maybe that would mean i should go over to NUS. i am not exactly looking forward to travelling 1~2 hours to ntu everyday.


(ps: i didn't see moomoo among the zombies, hee)

who said grown-ups can't have fun! if i ever had any doubts, they're all cleared now. it's hilarious to see 3 40+ adults doing the things i expect my fellow friends to, like grabbing each other's manboobs, pushing each other around on those office chairs with wheels, pressing imaginary buttons and doing some comical imitation of cartoon characters, to name a few. hell, one of them had a level of lameness worthy of kenbang, i swear.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.."

for me, adolescence is the time for fun, when the season's past, i'll wipe the silly grin off my face and put on an austere mask. of course, that doesn't mean it's going to be all stern and serious for jeremy, there will be time for (different types of) fun. but essentially, my mind will be set towards performing in work, securing a comfortable (to the extent of luxurious) life for my family, till the day my heart finally gives out. of course, i'll be keeping my family in mind all the while, they're the reason i'm going to work hard and succeed in life, i don't want to lose my purpose. it's going to be a challenge to balance family and work, but i believe i'll do just fine. noticed that family came first?

hmm, seems like i have decided what to do with my life, but now's still the season for fun. let's partyyy!!

i thought of posting something, but couldn't find words that even come close to giving a precise expression of my thoughts. maybe no words can ever tell how blessed i really really am. the way i see it, at least.

never been to a steam bath before, and the last time i entered a sauna's probably when i still got my milk teeth. but today, went to both, all within 30 minutes! i'd be lying if i said the sauna felt great, i was basically scorching myself intentionally, and every breath i take feels as if i'm inhaling fire. nonetheless, it was a form of relaxation, and i love relaxing. steam bath's just gradual suffocation, but i heard it's good. so i'll let myself suffocate, haha!

such luxuries are available to me, why haven't i pampered myself before today? i'll need to learn to enjoy life more, we only live once, and in this one life, we don't stay young always!

sorry seems to be the hardest word. no seems to be just as hard, to me at least.

many times, instead of a simple 'no', i come up with a convincing excuse to reject people. i despise myself for this, why can't i be the honest jeremy i want to be, and just say no (and the real reasons for 'no')! because i'm afraid people will think i don't take them as true friends? but shouldn't true friends be honest with each other... what irony. maybe they aren't true friends after all, just passing acquaintances that'll sooner than not fade away from familiarity into oblivion. and the next time he/she appears before me, it'll take a few moments to dig out a name from the recesses of my brain that'll match the face. can't be staying in close contact with everyone i know eh?

no, no, no, no, no! not too difficult, is it?! i'll like it more if people say no straight to my face, rather than shooting out a thousand and one excuses their creative minds managed to conjure. i promise i won't take it personal.